The Undefiled Bed

The Undefiled Bed

Ninth after Trinity

Collect of the Day: Grant to us, Lord, we beseech thee, the spirit to think and do always such things as are right; that we, who cannot do any thing that is good without thee, may by thee be enabled to live according to thy will; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Homily Text: Thou shalt not commit adultery. BCP, p.87.

I believe that we are living in an age of sexual crisis which may determine if western civilization will survive.

Sexual activity is now a matter of personal rights. The only rule is that anyone may do anything sexually he or she wishes so long as there is consent, if another person is involved. Law enforcement still tries to suppress prostitution. The law still forbids having more than one legal spouse at a time, but does not limit the number of sexual partners a married person may have.  Beyond prostitution and polygamy, the cultural consensus is that very few things are wrong: bestiality, pedophilia, and coercive sex.

Heterosexual marriage is optional; conceiving children without marriage is acceptable; homosexual practice is not only tolerated but approved; there is no difference between homosexual and heterosexual marriage; free pornography is available with a click on the internet; gender identity is fluid.

The church is under great pressure to conform to the culture’s consensus. This is a time when the church in the west greatly needs to hear and heed the seventh commandment: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

1.The Origin of Sex

How did human sex come about? It was a part of God’s good purpose when he created humans. Genesis 1 tells us: “…God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” God created two sexes both in his image. He blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply.”

Genesis 2 tells us about the creation of woman. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make a helper fit for him.” God made the woman from the man, and brought her to Adam. Adam immediately realized that, while he could relate to animals as fellow creatures, this was the creature he needed to experience a human connection. Adam said, “This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” God said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The account concludes with the observation: “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”

The basics about sex are found in creation story. God made two sexes, male and female. God blessed them and charged them to have children. God made them to complement and complete each other. He meant for them to have a one-flesh relationship. And they felt no shame being together and naked.

2. The Purposes of Sex

If God created humans as sexual beings, what were the purposes of sex?

First, sex has a procreative purpose. God clearly intended that man and woman would bring children into the world – “Be fruitful and multiply.” It is a tragedy for couples when they want but cannot have children. They need our understanding and support. There are legitimate reasons to limit the number of children we have. But we must also challenge the reasoning that, “If we have children or more than 1 or 2 children, we will not be able to have  or do the things we want.” God made us to bring children into the world. It is not having children that must be justified but the decision not to have children.

The U.S. birthrate is the lowest it has ever been. In 2016 there were 62 births per 1,000 women aged 15-44. This is below the replacement rate. If it were not for immigrants, the U.S. population would be declining. At the same time, because of the baby boom following WW II, we have a growing senior population many of whom are dependent upon Social Security and Medicare. Our society is likely going to face very hard decisions as the disparity between those working and those not working grows. There are social consequences to not having children.

But there are also spiritual consequences. How are most Christians made? By birth, baptism, and Christian nurture. If Christians continue not to have children, the Christian population of our country will decline, and that could have grave moral consequences for both church and country.  

Second, God created sex for expressing and deepening the whole person oneness of a married couple. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” By the joining of two bodies there is a joining of two persons. Even though the term “making love” has been debased by using it for any sexual activity involving two persons, in marriage sex is meant to be a “making of love.”

There can be reasons why it is difficult for couples to achieve this. A person’s sexuality can be so twisted as to make it very difficult for a couple to achieve oneness through sex. Or, past experiences of abuse may make it difficult for one or the other fully to give their selves to the other. Or, sometimes a false guilt, caused by the family environment or even the teaching of the church, can make it hard to experience this oneness.

But, all who are married should seek by God’s help to experience the oneness God intends sex to enhance.

Third, God made sex for legitimate pleasure. The church has sometimes taught otherwise, but the Bible is clear that there is a pleasure that is good in the married sexual experience, and God meant for that to be.

If you doubt that, read the Song of Solomon. For now, just consider these words from the Proverbs. A father, warning his son, against prostitutes, points him to the God-intended pleasure of sex with his wife:

Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
   be intoxicated always in her love (Proverbs 5:18,19).

Recently I came across these insightful words about sex within marriage:

God created sex to be a bond between a husband and wife that strengthens over time. Married couples make love on their honeymoon and after a miscarriage. They make love to conceive children and after they bury them. They make love when bodies are healthy and during battles against cancer. As a husband and wife pursue each other through intimate service, sacrifice, and struggle, God blesses them in a way the world can never know… 

…God designed sex to be best enjoyed when it is based on something other than appearance or performance. He bases it on committed love that reflects the unending love he has for all those who trust in Christ. (Good Love Making Is About God – Garrett Kell, Desiring God, July 11, 2017).

The Bible teaches that sex within marriage has these three purposes: bringing children into the world, developing oneness between a husband and wife, and giving and receiving God-approved pleasure.

3. Seventh Commandment

If God made us sexual beings and intended sex to be a blessing, why this negative command, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”? The answer requires little reflection. With sex sin has corrupted both the heart and body.

What does command require? Chastity before marriage. Faithfulness in marriage. The marriage of a man and woman, who intend to make a lifelong commitment to each other, is the only context for God pleasing sex. This command protects the marriage commitment and intimacy.

Within marriage God wants us to be generous to one another. St Paul says:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another… (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

What does this command forbid? Everything that is contrary to chastity and faithfulness. Jesus and the Apostles give us very strong warnings about sexual immorality.

Jesus taught:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell (Matthew 5:27-30).

St Paul warned:

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!  Or do you not know that he who is joined^] to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.”  But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.  Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body (1 Corinthians 6:12-20).

The writer of Hebrews exhorts us:

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Hebrews 13:4).  

What’s the answer for those who in one way or another broken this commandment? “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness… If any man sins, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, and he is the propitiation for our sins.” The sacrificed body and shed blood of Jesus atones for all our sins.