Honor to Whom Honor Is Due

Honor to Whom Honor Is Due

Seventh after Trinity

Collect of the Day: Lord of all power and might, who art the author and giver of all good things; Graft in our hearts the love of thy Name, increase in us true religion, nourish us with all goodness, and of thy great mercy keep us in the same; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Homily Text: Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

St. Paul exhorts us to give “honor to whom honor is due.” What does that mean? Think of a President you don’t like. In your heart, you probably don’t respect him. But what if you were invited to the Oval Office. How would you conduct yourself? I expect you dress appropriately, speak courteously, and observe White House protocol. In other words, you would honor the office.

The setting of the 5^th Commandment is the family. But the fifth commandment is also relevant to other settings where we are under authority – whether family, work, church, or the civil realm.

Today we will focus on the family relations, asking two questions: (1) What are the duties of parents? (2) What are the duties of children?

1.  What are the duties of parents?

·        Today I must say that it is the duty of parents to be married. When I began my ministry, I would never have thought to say that in a sermon to Christians, but today it must be said. We will not speak of all the disadvantages of single parent homes. But, I will say that it is impossible for unmarried parents, even if they live together, to fulfill their Christian duties to their children.

·        To have a stable and harmonious marriage. Nothing makes kids feel more insecure than conflict and instability in their parents’ relationship.

·        To provide for the common needs of life – food, shelter, clothing, education, and the rest. My kids remember “deprivations” such embarrassment to have to wear Winner’s Choice, the Walmart brand tennis shoes, eating very fast so they could get the seconds, and thinking everyone got shoes out of a family shoe bag. Parents should do the best they can, even if it means personal sacrifice.

·        To bring them up within the life of the church, remembering 4 duties particularly;

o   To bring them to baptism as soon after birth as possible.

o   To teach them to worship, including participating in the hymns and prayers and listening to the reading and preaching of the Word.

o   As soon as the parents and pastor are satisfied that the child has faith and understands the basic meaning of the Lord’s Supper, to bring them with us to Holy Communion.

o   To teach them to respect the church and its pastors. You may have personal concerns about the church or personal problems with the pastor, but children should learn to honor the church and pastor from your words and your example.

·        To provide them a Christian home, which means at least these things:

o   St. Paul instructs parents, especially fathers:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged (Col. 3:21).

We must be careful not to provoke our children which we can do through favoritism, 

inconsistency, harshness, and withholding love or making it conditional.

o   Rather we must provide them with positive discipline, in the sense of training, and negative discipline in the form of punishment. The writer of Proverbs tells us:

He who loves his son is diligent to discipline him. (13:24).

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart. Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death (Proverbs 29:17.18).

o   We must teach them the Christian faith – bringing them up in what Paul calls “the instruction of the Lord.” Moses command to Israel is for Christian parents:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise (Deuteronomy 6:5-7).

o   We must let go of them. God does not give us children to keep them tied to and dependent on us. He entrusts us with them for a time that we might bring them up to be healthy and independent adults.

Now, if you are like me, you may be aware of your failings as a parent. What can you do? Ask the Lord for forgiveness. He will grant it. Ask your children for forgiveness and hope they will grant it.

2.  What are the duties of children?

·        The duties of children are summarized with the word “honor” – “Honor thy father and thy mother.” We should note that the command to honor parents does not distinguish between young children and teenagers, or between minors and adults. It applies in different ways at different ages, but, whatever your age, if you have parents, God commands you to honor them.

·        The primary ways minor children honor their parents are by respect and obedience.

o   The verb “honor” is the same word of the glory of God. In both cases the word means “heavy” or “weighty.” God is “heavy” because he is a Being of infinite significance. We owe God reverence and awe. Parents are “weighty” because God makes them significant in relation to their children. Children must be respectful in attitude, demeanor, and speech. It is a great sin to treat God lightly; it foolishness to treat our parents lightly.

o   Children must obey their parents.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land” (Eph. 6: 1.2).

 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20).

There are no exceptions to the rule of obedience unless parents command children to do what the Lord forbids or forbid them to do what the Lord commands.

o   God shows us in both the Old and New Testaments that not honoring parents is a very serious sin:

Old Testament

Cursed be anyone who dishonors his father or his mother (Deut. 27:16).

He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach (Prov. 19:26).

The death penalty was prescribed for striking a parent (Ex. 21:15), cursing a parent (Ex. 21:17) and for chronic rebellion (Deut. 21:18-20).

New Testament

St. Paul says that one characteristic of a society that has rejected God and is under condemnation is disobedience to parents (Rom. 1:20, 2 Tim. 3:2).

o   Christian parents should make every effort to be worthy of the respect and obedience of their children. We should make our commands like the Lord’s – “not burdensome.” Unfortunately, even some Christian parents make it very difficult to honor them. But the command to honor parents applies to every child who remains under the care and provision of his/her parents.

·        When we become adults the command to honor parents remains in effect but we no longer show respect by obedience for we are no longer under parental authority.

o   It is a very sad to see the disrespect of some adult children toward their parents. They are scornful toward them and dismissive of their importance. They look on time spent with parents as time wasted.  But the writer of Proverbs says:

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old (Proverbs 23:22).

o   Someone may say, “But my parents failed in many ways. I have ‘issues.’ It’s very hard to honor them.” That may very well be true. All parents are fallen and fallible human beings. All parents fail in some ways; some parents fail in big ways. That is why one thing we may need to do is to forgive our parents. Sometimes we realize this only when we we’ve done our parenting and then face our own failures. We should include parents when we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” And we should keep in mind the Apostle’s exhortation: “…if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive…" (Col. 3:13).

o   We must honor our parents by caring for them in old age. It may mean helping them with chores they can no longer do themselves, taking them to doctors’ appointments, and not begrudging them time spent with them. In some cases, it may mean helping them materially. Jesus confronted the Pharisees about their failure to do this:

And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’  But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God) —  then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down (Mark 7:9-13).

Honor your father and mother. Jesus did. As a child, he was subject to his parents. One of the last things he died on the cross was to provide for her by committing her to the care of t. John. Honor your father and your mother. It’ one way you honor your Father in heaven and who in Christ adopted you into his family.