Honor
to Whom Honor Is Due
Seventh
after Trinity
Collect
of the Day: Lord of all power and might, who art the
author and giver of all good things; Graft in our hearts the love of thy Name,
increase in us true religion, nourish us with all goodness, and of thy great
mercy keep us in the same; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Homily Text: Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy
days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
St. Paul exhorts us to give “honor
to whom honor is due.” What does that mean? Think of a President you don’t
like. In your heart, you probably don’t respect him. But what if you were
invited to the Oval Office. How would you conduct yourself? I expect you dress
appropriately, speak courteously, and observe White House protocol. In other
words, you would honor the office.
The setting of the 5th
Commandment is the family. But the fifth commandment is also relevant to other settings
where we are under authority – whether family, work, church, or the civil realm.
Today we will focus on the
family relations, asking two questions: (1) What are the duties of parents? (2)
What are the duties of children?
1. What are the duties of parents?
·
Today I must say that it is the duty of
parents to be married. When I began my ministry, I would never have thought to
say that in a sermon to Christians, but today it must be said. We will not
speak of all the disadvantages of single parent homes. But, I will say that it
is impossible for unmarried parents, even if they live together, to fulfill
their Christian duties to their children.
·
To have a stable and harmonious marriage.
Nothing makes kids feel more insecure than conflict and instability in their
parents’ relationship.
·
To provide for the common needs of life –
food, shelter, clothing, education, and the rest. My kids remember “deprivations”
such embarrassment to have to wear Winner’s Choice, the Walmart brand tennis
shoes, eating very fast so they could get the seconds, and thinking everyone
got shoes out of a family shoe bag. Parents should do the best they can, even
if it means personal sacrifice.
·
To bring them up within the life of the
church, remembering 4 duties particularly;
o
To bring them to baptism as soon after birth
as possible.
o
To teach them to worship, including participating
in the hymns and prayers and listening to the reading and preaching of the
Word.
o
As soon as the parents and pastor are
satisfied that the child has faith and understands the basic meaning of the
Lord’s Supper, to bring them with us to Holy Communion.
o
To teach them to respect the church and its
pastors. You may have personal concerns about the church or personal problems
with the pastor, but children should learn to honor the church and pastor from
your words and your example.
·
To provide them a Christian home, which means
at least these things:
o
St. Paul instructs parents, especially
fathers:
Fathers, do not provoke your children to
anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord
(Ephesians 6:4).
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they
become discouraged (Col. 3:21).
We must be careful not to provoke our children
which we can do through favoritism,
inconsistency, harshness, and withholding
love or making it conditional.
o Rather we must provide them with positive
discipline, in the sense of training, and negative discipline in the form of
punishment. The writer of Proverbs tells us:
He who loves his son is
diligent to discipline him.
(13:24).
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give
delight to your heart. Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on
putting him to death (Proverbs 29:17.18).
o We must teach them the Christian faith – bringing them up in what
Paul calls “the instruction of the Lord.” Moses command to Israel is for
Christian parents:
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with
all your might. And these
words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk
of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you
lie down, and when you rise (Deuteronomy 6:5-7).
o We must let go of them. God does not give us children to keep them
tied to and dependent on us. He entrusts us with them for a time that we might
bring them up to be healthy and independent adults.
Now, if you are like me,
you may be aware of your failings as a parent. What can you do? Ask the Lord for
forgiveness. He will grant it. Ask your children for forgiveness and hope they
will grant it.
2. What are the duties of children?
·
The duties of children are summarized with
the word “honor” – “Honor thy father and thy mother.” We should note that the
command to honor parents does not distinguish between young children and
teenagers, or between minors and adults. It applies in different ways at
different ages, but, whatever your age, if you have parents, God commands you
to honor them.
·
The primary ways minor children honor their
parents are by respect and obedience.
o
The verb “honor” is the same word of the
glory of God. In both cases the word means “heavy” or “weighty.” God is “heavy”
because he is a Being of infinite significance. We owe God reverence and awe. Parents
are “weighty” because God makes them significant in relation to their children.
Children must be respectful in attitude, demeanor, and speech. It is a great sin
to treat God lightly; it foolishness to treat our parents lightly.
o
Children must obey their parents.
Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first
commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may
live long in the land” (Eph. 6: 1.2).
Children, obey your parents in everything, for
this pleases the Lord (Colossians 3:20).
There are no exceptions to the rule of obedience
unless parents command children to do what the Lord forbids or forbid them to
do what the Lord commands.
o
God shows us in both the Old and New Testaments
that not honoring parents is a very serious sin:
Old Testament
Cursed
be anyone who dishonors his father or his mother (Deut. 27:16).
He who does
violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach (Prov.
19:26).
The
death penalty was prescribed for striking a parent (Ex. 21:15), cursing a
parent (Ex. 21:17) and for chronic rebellion (Deut. 21:18-20).
New Testament
St.
Paul says that one characteristic of a society that has rejected God and is under
condemnation is disobedience to parents (Rom. 1:20, 2 Tim. 3:2).
o Christian parents should make every effort to be
worthy of the respect and obedience of their children. We should make our
commands like the Lord’s – “not burdensome.” Unfortunately, even some Christian
parents make it very difficult to honor them. But the command to honor parents
applies to every child who remains under the care and provision of his/her
parents.
·
When we become
adults the command to honor parents remains in effect but we no longer show respect
by obedience for we are no longer under parental authority.
o It is a very sad to see the disrespect of some adult
children toward their parents. They are scornful toward them and dismissive of
their importance. They look on time spent with parents as time wasted. But the writer of Proverbs says:
Listen
to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when
she is old (Proverbs 23:22).
o
Someone
may say, “But my parents failed in many ways. I have ‘issues.’ It’s very hard
to honor them.” That may very well be true. All parents are fallen and fallible
human beings. All parents fail in some ways; some parents fail in big ways. That
is why one thing we may need to do is to forgive our parents. Sometimes we
realize this only when we we’ve done our parenting and then face our own failures.
We should include parents when we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses as we
forgive those who trespass against us.” And we should keep in mind the Apostle’s
exhortation: “…if one has a complaint
against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive…"
(Col. 3:13).
o
We
must honor our parents by caring for them in old age. It may mean helping them
with chores they can no longer do themselves, taking them to doctors’
appointments, and not begrudging them time spent with them. In some cases, it
may mean helping them materially. Jesus confronted the Pharisees about their
failure to do this:
And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God
in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your
mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother,
“Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God) — then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father
or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that
you have handed down (Mark 7:9-13).
Honor your father and mother. Jesus did. As a child, he was
subject to his parents. One of the last things he died on the cross was to
provide for her by committing her to the care of t. John. Honor your father and
your mother. It’ one way you honor your Father in heaven and who in Christ
adopted you into his family.